Macaroni Grill's Ravioli Gets Toasted

They came in with some top-notch uniforms and a big-name sponsor, but walked out with their tails in between their legs. Like a bunch of scared puppies, Macaroni Grill's "Mac Shack" soiled themselves to an 21-4 loss at the hands of the mighty Balls Deep squad. "What the hell just happened", said a stunned Mac Shack player. "The last I remember I got out of my car to play some ball, and now I've been told we just got mercy-ruled", said the shaken up player, who wished to remain anonymous.

Ric "Cherry Bomb" Charris continued his torrid hitting with 2 more homeruns against the helpless Mac Shack. Things got a little chippy between the two teams as Cherry Bomb hit his 2nd homerun and taunted "you got Cherry Bombed, you got Cherry Bombed", as he rounded the bases. Charris simply shrugged off the incident saying, "hey, when you're good, you're good, and I'm AWESOME"! Shortstop Brad Weitekamp also extended his homerun streak to 2 games, with his shot into the centerfield shrubs during the 2nd inning. Confusion set in when Balls Deep was told they reached their homerun limit and any more homeruns would result in outs. "What am I supposed to do now?", said outfielder Casey Hahn. "I'm not going to pick up any chicks out here hitting doubles", a visibly upset Hahn continued. Once Hahn was reminded that he was already in a committed relationship, and that she was in attendance, he seemed to calm down markedly.

In addition to an offensive explosion, Balls Deep turned in some impressive defensive efforts on the day. Casey Hahn cut down what would have been an inside-the-park homerun by teaming up with Brad Weitekamp for what could only be described as the most perfect slow-pitch softball relay combination in history. Coach Heater managed to hang on to the blazing relay throw, make the tag at homeplate, and hold on to his cigarette. "That's what I call the trifecta", said a proud Coach Heater. Meanwhile, Cherry Bomb seemed puzzled out in leftfield by the number of throws needed to get the ball to Coach Heater at homeplate. Hahn politely explained to him, that's what happens when you hit the cutoff man. An enlightened Cherry Bomb proclaimed, "from this day forward, I pledge to hit all cut-off men in my throws back to the infield". To cap off the evening of defensive gems, Brad Weitekamp set a world record by catching 3 flyballs in one inning. "Last week, I set the record for most consecutive pitches taken, and now this. It's just a real emotional day for me", said Weitekamp as tears of joy streamed down his face.

In other news, the highly anticipated 40-yard race between Casey Hahn and an armadillo took place after the 5th inning. The armadillo got out to an early lead as Hahn stumbled at the start. Unfortunately, due to the genetic vision problems common in their species, the armadillo ran off track onto nearby 16th Ave and was quickly struck by a car. The armadillo was officially pronounced dead at 9:07pm at Shands Hospital. Hahn commented, "Sure the victory is a little bittersweet, but that armadillo lived a good life. It's just tragic it had to end like this". Memorial and burial services for the armadillo have not been announced.


In their next game, Balls Deep will take on Old School at 10pm next Tuesday. It remains to be seen if this will be past Cherry Bomb's bedtime.