Mother Nature Pulls a Dirty Trick

Balls Deep was supposed to be taking the field at 6:30pm last night in their season opener vs. Haile Medical, but somebody got a little selfish yesterday afternoon. Yeah, that's right Mother Nature, I'm talking about you. All you had to do was wait until about 8pm to do your thing, but you wanted to show off for the whole town in broad daylight. You couldn't restrain yourself for just a few more hours? Give me a break! I haven't seen such a selfish display of thunderstorms in a long time. I caught up with Mother Nature to get her side of things in an exclusive interview and was intrigued by her view on things.

BPW: What exactly were you thinking yesterday? I mean were you actually thinking or were you just pretty much doing whatever you want all day?

MN: First off, I'd like to apologize. I didn't realize the kind of reaction this would get from the Balls Deep team members and all of their loyal fans. To answer your question, I was kind of just reacting to a news story I heard last night. I heard WCJB's Bill Quinlan talking about how we needed the rain. Between you and me, I've always had a thing for him, so I just figured I'd get his attention with a torrential downpour.

BPW: Well, you're an idiot then, because you pretty much ruined my Tuesday night along with all of my teammates. Your love for Bill Quinlan has cost you my friendship along with most of the rest of Gainesville. You used to be looked up to in Gainesville, and pretty much the whole state of Florida, now you jeopardized that all for some weatherman.

MN: I don't know what to say. To be honest, I always had just done whatever I wanted and then people just kind of deal with it. It was a cool thing. Normally I just go make it rain and then sit back and watch all these people talk about me and what I did all day. I guess my ego just got out of control. I realize now that this isn't the way to do things, especially with the softball season starting now. You have to admit though, Bill is kind of handsome.

BPW: Actually, I don't find Bill Quinlan attractive whatsoever. I think we need to work out a plan for your upcoming rain schedule. Would you be open to a little flexibility with your thunderstorm schedule?

MN: I'm open to suggestions, but to be honest, I've been set in my ways for quite some time now.

BPW: I think what I'd like to see happen is for you to just hold off on the afternoon thunderstorms on Tuesdays until after 10pm. I know people won't be able to see your magic in the daylight hours, but that would work out great for my softball season.

MN: I think that's fair. I need to start mixing it up a little anyway. I get tired of just the afternoon showers anyway. Quinlan just puts so much pressure on me to produce these afternoon showers everyday in the summer months. Its almost like he doesn't look at anything and just says "it'll be a high of 90 with a 30% chance of some rain in the afternoon". Now its hurricane season, and let's face it, these hurricanes haven't really helped my image the past few years.

BPW: Well, I think we have an agreement. I want to thank you for your time. I know it gets busy for you during hurricane season, and you obviously have some issues to figure out between you and Bill. Just try to hold off on those Tuesday storms until later at night.

MN: Thanks for your understanding and friendship through the years. I love Bill so much, and I'm just trying to balance my personal life with work and it gets difficult sometimes. I value your opinion and want to do anything to help out the Balls Deep squad this season.

There you have it. It seems as though Mother Nature will be on Balls Deep's side for the rest of the season. An obvious misunderstanding caused an unfortunate rainout this week, but hopefully that will be the last one of the season. As for Bill Quinlan, it seems as though he may have his first stalker.