Proud Traditions

My home state of Illinois is known for some pretty cool stuff. For a state that is 98% farmland (way to ruin it Chicago), Illinois has quite a few accomplishments they should be proud of. Abraham Lincoln gave his Farewell Address about 7 miles from my house, Michael Jordan won 6 titles in a city that should be its own state (maybe I'll cover that in another blog), the phrase "March Madness" was first used in reference to the Illinois High School basketball postseason, and most importantly sweetcorn festivals are celebrated each year at the exact hottest point of the year. Nothing says Illinois Summer like sweating profusely while you gobble up your 9th ear of sweetcorn.

Some more recent traditions have been attempted in Illinois and I'd like to cover some of the more notable ones for you loyal readers out there. I'll provide you with three examples: one of which failed to really take off, one of which has a strong tradition that is looking to live on, and one that is just getting started. In order to properly bias my story, I'll start with the tradition farthest from my hometown, and finish with the one closest to my hometown. I have provided a
link to a map that will help you to seek out the cities on our journey through this blog.

Our first stop takes us to Bath, IL for the Redneck Fishing Tournament. Bath is located about 55 miles to the northwest of my birth home of Rochester. This is something you have to see to believe, so check out the video. I'd also like to note that the redneck with the confederate flag must be an out-of-state fisherman. Even for Illinois rednecks, confederate flags are a little over the top. Picture a bunch of river-folk running around on a muddy river in their 16-foot aluminum boats trying to catch flying fish......without a fishing pole. While this may not quite have the status of a Farewell Address, it has built itself into quite a little event for the town of Bath. Thanks to The Brick Tavern, they even have a Wet-Tee Contest for the ladies, and a Tidy-Whitey Contest for the men. The best news yet, you haven't missed it. Hit the road and head to Bath, IL for the 2008 Redneck Fishing Tournament this weekend. You stay classy Bath.



From Bath, we move 48 miles to the southeast and arrive in Springfield, IL. The capital of Illinois is rich in history. Abraham Lincoln literally put Springfield on the map when he moved the capitol here from Vandalia in 1837. Now that's getting things done. Current Governor Rod Blagojevich has attempted to pull his own Lincolnesque move and turn Chicago into the capitol, but that's a different story. Springfield doesn't really do much to make the news these days, with Lincoln moving away and all. Enter the "Bird Whisperer". Apparently the city was looking to start a new tradition a little over a year ago......killing birds in the downtown area. The city hired an 84 year-old man, Jim Soules, and paid him $164,000 to rid the city of its bird problem in "non-lethal" ways. Apparently, his non-lethal "methods" involved guns and poison (the chemical, not the band), so that tradition didn't last long. He then died in June of this year. I'm guessing it was just of old age, but wouldn't it be ironic if it was avian bird flu?


Now, we move on to the east 7 miles to my hometown of Rochester, IL. This quaint little town of 3,500 has managed to build a multi-million dollar fine arts building on the high school's campus. A new and hopefully long-standing tradition of cultural event for the entire town to enjoy for years to come can now blossom in this state-of-the-art facility. Millions of dollars should get you a nice facility, right? One that has all the amenities you would need, right? One that matches the color of the existing buildings, right? Nice facility...check. Top notch amenities...check (they have a flying machine!?!?). Matching exterior color...oops. Instead of red brick, a gleaming white brick exterior coats this masterpiece. Oh well they said, let's start having some performances so we can start to pay for this thing. Next up "Urinetown". It's exactly how it sounds too. The musical centers around a town and its displeasure in mandatory pay-per-use toilets. This will be the 2nd fundraising performance at the facility. The Yankees have the "House that Ruth Built", Yankee Stadium, and now Rochester, IL can proudly say that they have the "House that Pee Built".