How'd That Get There?

Well, well, well. What do we have here? It gets tiring living in SEC country and hearing the repetitive scandals of college football players. Well, that pattern has shifted a little and now the focus is on one of the more famous former SEC head football coaches. Every team has their turn dealing with little behavioral "issues", and now it's Auburn's turn, specifically former football coach Pat Dye.

Just a little background on Pat Dye for those who haven't heard of him. As a player, Dye was a two-time All-American in 1959 and 1960 at the University of Georgia. As a coach, he was 153-62-5 over 19 seasons at East Carolina, Wyoming, and most notably at Auburn. While at Auburn, he won 4 SEC Championships, and stands 3rd all-time in wins at Auburn. Dye was named National Coach of the Year in 1983 and was inducted into the College Football Hall of Fame in 2005. Sounds like he must have been pretty legendary while in Auburn, AL. You know, I bet they treated him like a god in Auburn in the 70's and 80's. That would be pretty cool to be in your late 30's early 40's coaching a successful SEC football teams in one of the most college-football crazy towns. I would venture to guess he had a pretty good time there. Enough fun to lose his pants? You be the judge.

As most Americans are aware, in the last couple of years, rain has been pretty scarce in the south. This has caused several recreational lakes to dry up, and some interesting things have popped up: ancient trees, cars, golf clubs, tools, Pat Dye's pants........wait, what!?!? Pat Dye's pants?? Apparently Shannon McDuffie was minding her own business just riding along the drought-stricken shores of Lake Martin in Alabama when she noticed a pair of slacks stuck in the mud. But, those could be anybody's pants right? Just because you find a pair of pants in a lake doesn't mean they're Pat Dye's. That is correct until you find Pat Dye's government issued gas card, frequent flier card, credit card, driver's license, and Toyota car keys attached to an Auburn football helmet key chain.......all from the 1980's!

With wallet, credit cards, and car keys, one would assume these pants were obviously in use at the time of their disrobing. When asked how he lost his pants Dye said "I have no idea how I lost 'em, but we can make up a good story". Suuuuuure Pat, we can make up a good story. You know, if I lost my pants with my car keys and wallet containing all of my credit cards and forms of ID, I'm pretty sure it would be a simple task to remember the scenario that left me pantless with no way into my car. For Pat, things must've been pretty interesting.

I can see it now, as Pat stumbles down an Alabama dirt road with no pants:

Police Officer: Sir, how come you don't have any pants on?

Pat Dye: Well, you see officer, I was out recruiting for next season. When I went to get in my car and come home, I realized I had no pants. You see, just a simple honest mistake.

Police Officer: So, you have no idea how you lost your pants? Can I see some ID?

Pat Dye: Well, actually I also seem to have misplaced all forms of ID.

Police Officer: Wait a second. Aren't you Pat Dye, the football coach?

Pat Dye: Yes, unfortunately I am. Officer, can you give me a ride home? I seem to have misplaced my car keys as well.

Police Officer: I think that'd be for the best. Especially with the stench of whiskey on your breath.

That's how I see it going down. A whiskey-drenched Pat Dye gets a cop-car ride home with no pants on. Now, I would think that would be pretty memorable. Apparently Pat Dye doesn't.