How Much Longer Must I Wait?

As I get older, it seems as though I care less and less about what clothes I wear for the most part. Every day for work, I wear one of two options for shorts, pick the next solid colored polo that happens to be in my standard polo lineup, slip on my flip-flops and head out the door. If I have a meeting, I might mix it up with a pair of slacks and actually put on some shoes. Anyway, I'm in the market for a new pair of shoes.

With this in mind, I was also thinking about getting another pair of shoes just to wear around that are comfortable. I saw a man at the gym the other day that was quite "advanced" in age. He had these tiny legs and surrounding his feet were what appeared to me as little pillows of heaven in velcro shoe form. That got me wondering, "What age is it OK for a man to wear velcro shoes on a regular basis"? I mean, when I was younger, I'm pretty sure I wore them out of my inability to properly tie my own shoes. There's a time when velcro becomes uncool as a kid, but when does it become socially acceptable again? I had this sweet pair of maroon velcro 'Roos (outsiders often called them by their proper name, Kangaroos). They had a pouch on the side just like the animal version, minus the slimy mucous, where you could hold your change and other kid paraphernalia. To top this off Ozzie Smith wore some 'Roos baseball spikes....seriously take a look at the Kangaroo emblem on the side of his shoes in the picture. So lets sum this up: velcro, pouch (without mucous), Ozzie Smith wears them. All good things for a young Cardinal fan, so I'd have to say my maroon 'Roos were my favorite shoes of all time.

Back to my dilemma. I'm going to be 28 on Sunday, and I'm wondering am I still too young to wear a pair of velcro shoes? To put my disdain for shoelaces into perspective, 3 months after my dog ate my shoelaces, I have yet to replace them because of their ease of slipping onto my feet. I shrug it off to my friends by saying "shoelaces are for rich people", but the truth is that I hate tying shoes. It just takes too much time and it doesn't seem like an efficient way to wear a pair of shoes. It would be so nice to put on a pair of 'Roos, slap on my velcro straps, stick my house key in their convenient pouch (without mucous), and go for a nice stroll around the neighborhood.

After that sentence, I may have even talked myself into getting a pair regardless of what anyone thinks. I'm pretty sure the man I saw wearing velcro shoes at the gym was somewhere between 90-120 years old, but he looked so happy in those shoes. If he can be comfortable wearing them, just think how they would feel on my feet. I bet this world would be a much happier place if everyone just wore a pair of 'Roos and went about there normal days. Whos idea was it to invent dress shoes anyway? If everyone revolts and just wears 'Roos, then it would be perfectly acceptable to wear velcro shoes in business meetings. Something to think about.