Olympic Glory......Not Really #2

Like the previous selection in our list, the number two selection is a team that I just couldn't leave off my list. This team plays in a sport most Americans can't stand to watch due to the rarity of teams actually scoring. Well, Americans would have loved to watch this team because they put up one of the most embarrassing defensive efforts in soccer, or "football", history. I present to you the 1912 Russian National Soccer Team.

This was an exciting time for Russia. World War I hadn't started yet, vodka exports were booming, and they finally had a soccer team in the Olympics. When looking at the history of Russian soccer, records always list how soccer has been played in Russia since 1887, 25 years prior to their first Olympics. Just a little tip for Russia: you might not want to brag about that too much. Another fact the history books like to mention as an accomplishment is that they lost to Finland 2-1 in their first ever Olympic Games. That's all fine and well, until you look at what happened in their other match in the Summer Games.

Finland was a decent team, who ended up finishing 4th in the 1912 Summer Games, so a 2-1 victory is nothing to be ashamed of. What they should be ashamed of is the 16-0 loss against Germany in their next game. That's right, they gave up 16 goals in a game that most people are accustomed to watching end in 0-0 ties. This was in 1912, so obviously video footage is a little hard to come by for this match, but one has to wonder if the Russian team was drunk or simply fell asleep.

The star of the show for Germany was Gottfried Fuchs, who scored 10 goals by himself! Seriously Russia, doesn't there come a point when you figure out you might want to guard him?? Something like a, "hey, that's the guy who has 7 goals already, let's step up the defense on him" probably would have done the trick. I guess that's a little to much to ask from the Russians though. If you take Fuchs' goals away, the Russians only get beat 6-0, which is just mildly embarrassing. A 16-0 loss is a complete disappointment to an entire country. Maybe that's why they went communist and changed the country's name 5 years later. Welcome to the list 1912 Russian National Soccer Team, your place will be forever secure here.