What A Bunch of Losers

The Balls Deep softball squad suffered a heartbreaking end to the regular season with a doubleheader sweep at the hands of Chaos and The Heat in City League softball action Tuesday night. Balls Deep still has qualified to participate in the "A League" Divisional Playoffs, but one question remains: Does anyone even care anymore?

Some questionable coaching decisions were made throughout the evening, such as inserting a girl into the starting lineup that hadn't played softball (or any other sport with a ball) in her life. Secretly, in my head, I bestowed the nickname "Rally Killer" upon her, mainly for her uncanny ability to be the batter with the bases loaded and strike out to end several promising innings. It was a bold strategy by Coach Heater to insert Rally Killer into the lineup, so he must have seen a little fire in her eyes that I was unaware of. Coach Heater commented, "We had won so many games in a row, I just figured I'd mix it up by throwing a completely inexperienced player into the lineup". When asked if he realized these were probably the 2 most important games Balls Deep had played to date, Coach Heater simply said, "ummmm........kinda forgot about that detail".

Balls Deep will have to do some soul-searching to be prepared in time for next week's playoffs. Some team members took the loss harder than others, and Ric "Cherry Bomb" Charris was one who took the loss especially hard. "I really thought this was our year", said Cherry Bomb. He continued on by saying, "I just moved into a new townhouse a few weeks ago, so I've had a lot on my mind. Tonight sure doesn't help me cope very well with my issues". It took a good five minutes, but Cherry Bomb eventually lumbered back to his SUV and drove home visibly distraught. Craig, the Balls Deep rightfielder, left the field seemingly dazed by the evening. "What happened", asked Craig in an almost inaudible jumble of words. When Coach Heater informed him that Balls Deep just got beat in two straight games, it became apparent that Craig was asleep in rightfield for a good portion of the doubleheader. That explained why it appeared as though he was swinging with a pillow during his at-bats.

The night got ugly when a Balls Deep fan (and dog) began to boo the on-field performance of Balls Deep. Katie (who wouldn't reveal her last name despite the fact she's married to a player) said she "had enough and wanted to voice her displeasure". Coach Heater said, "I can understand a person booing us, but it appeared as though she taught her dog how to boo us through an elaborate treat rewarding system. A little uncalled for if you ask me". Heater closed by saying, "it was obvious that dog was only booing to get more treats".

I guess we'll see how Balls Deep bounces back after such a deflating evening of defeat. One thing is for sure after those 2 losses: Balls Deep lost a lot of respect and dished out a bunch of disappointment across Gainesville and its surrounding communities. Time will tell if their loyal fans will stick it out through such trying times.